SHORTY: hungry ghosts

I think I have heard a Buddhist explanation of hungry ghosts. What makes them hungry is that there's something they crave to feed on. Could be physical food. It could be revenge. It could be finding sympathy for their complaints. It could be anything. And what makes it's a tragic story is that they're doomed to never actually find the thing that satisfies their craving.

I wonder sometimes whether people act like hungry ghosts. Whether I act like a hungry ghost.

I wonder, what are the causes of becoming hungry ghost. And what are the causes for the ending of it.

SHORTY: mindfulness can still be self-delusion

"a common problem in approaching practice in daily life: a tendency to indulge in the self-delusion that can justify any activity, as long as it's done mindfully, as part of the path"

Ajaan Geoff, see https://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/study/perfections.html on the 10 Paramis.

I give you permission to be a dick to me.

Today I read a timely post. "The coronavirus does not give you permission to be a dick to Asian people." I'm Asian, by the way. And, I agree with reminding you that it might not be skillful to be dicks to Asian people, like yelling for them to "Go Home" or "Don't get me sick!"

But, I want to offer an alternate take. One snarky and one Buddhist-y: "Yes, I do give you permission to be a dick to me."

Learn to do things you don't like, before it's too late. (Especially for parents, teach your kids)

Learn to do things you don't like, before it's too late. 

Why? Because, if you learn to avoid things you don't like, life is going to be very hard for you and those around you. HINT: Learn to play 2 instruments or 2 random hobbies or talk to / be friendly with 2 people you normally wouldn't.

Why might it be too late? If you've learned (through reinforcement learning) to only do things you like for 1 month, 1 year, or 1 decade... your brain is going to be very fundamentally primed to look for the easy stuff. So, when something hard or don't-like happens, the instinct is going to be to find a way around it.

A bit of caution to not "bypass" or "pretend" it actually is fun. For the kids (or yourself), don't say, "see, that was fun!" as that reinforces the subtle 21st century madness that everything is supposed to be fun and positive. Instead, say, "I know that wasn't fun. But look how we were able to accomplish it. How does it feel to finish something that was hard."

Masturbation Mondays, a buddhist-y harm reduction

This post doesn't quite fit with the learnedness of most of this blog. But masturbation is something I've struggled with and have had a lot of unskillful interactions with. And, according to Buddhism, something to be understood and dealt with skillfully.

I don't see sex as a bad or immoral thing. But, I do find that sex, for me, is a bit like junk food. It's something that isn't that healthy and something I do when I'm a bit bored. They say that sex is all about connection. It can be helpful there, but often when I'm really loving with someone, sex is not the way I want to express it. I can give goodwill, take care of them, cuddle, etc. I don't need the 30 minute fireworks display and the neurochemical soup afterwards.