Commercials, a museum of "if only" thoughts

I'm watching TV (too much) lately. It's a strong negative in my concentration practice, but there is a sliver of a silver lining. It's like visiting a museum of all the "if only" thinking that I am learning to give up.

Gil Fronsdal has a fairy tale that talks about all the if only thoughts we have.

The jewelry commercial reminds me of all the "love is forever" stories. And the stories that "if you really love someone, it means...".

The car commercials reminds me of the "you deserve it" story. Gil Fronsdal talks about the time the car salesman said, "you deserve an air conditioner." (Back when AC was not standard).

The food commercials remind me of "indulge, revel". Reminds me of Thanissaro's comment on "obey your thirst"... A dangerous but common slogan of life.

So many commercials are aspirational. Whispering, "you deserve more, more". Like the new iPhone.

Then there are the guilt commercials. About germs and laundry detergent.  "Is it really clean unless you..."

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I like to remind people how much can be done with so little. Buddha was 2600 years ago. Christ was about 2000 years. They didn't even have clean water. Medical knowledge was very rudimentary. Communication was verbal... You had to walk to the next town to learn what someone might be teaching. Famine was commonplace.

With that said, modern life has way more temptation. Commercials and ads are virtually unavoidable. We are whispered, "more, more, more" all the time, and all over the place. And it's much easier to just show the good side (i.e. lie by hiding drawbacks).

There is a culture of commercials, to suggest that you can have all the upside with none of the downside. And maybe none of the work either. Get rich quick, get rich for free.

I am thankful I am somewhat innoculated/vaccinated against that line of thinking.

Shorty: Deprivation can backfire

 

Many people have been surprised by the strength of their desire after a period of deprivation.

- Gil Fronsdal, from the IRC newsletter, Summer-Fall 2022, on the topic of Renunciation

From

https://mailchi.mp/insightretreatcenter.org/93l4yxvksu-8987842?e=5266e119f6

or 

 https://insightretreatcenter.us1.list-manage.com/track/click?u=4617ba61346c1677e4a4215b4&id=74f4c83d3f&e=5266e119f6

Practicing the Dhamma in line with the Dhamma VS I am special

"Everyone is different.

Then you realize everyone is the same.

And then, everyone is different."

  (Recalled memory of some Dhamma story)

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Let's get the main point out of the way.

It is important and essential to practice the Dhamma in line with the Dhamma if one wants to make progress in Buddhism.

* Most people practice the Dhamma in line with their preferences.

* Looking for ways for Buddhism to justify what you like to do is a dead end

* It's okay and normal to mess up: to think you are in line with the Dhamma but actually aligned with your preferences or Kilesas. To notice one's off-ness... that noticing is in line with the Dhamma. (See blog post: path of mistakes)

It's important to entertain, skillfully and with good timing, "I am not special."

I've met a few people who really wanted to study some Buddhism or some path to the end of suffering (though they don't call it Buddhism). And, putting aside other flaws, they all had a flaw that they couldn't see: they thought they needed to understand and explain themselves before they could get started with Buddhism. I'd talk to them about the basics: maybe watching the breath, maybe Metta, maybe generosity/gifts. And, these people would mostly want to say, "that sounds good, but first I have to tell you about this feature of my life, and this argument, and this truth I discovered, and, and ,and..." Delay and distraction, maybe, (subliminally?). But, maybe just a unwise view that they needed to keep all those ideas.

It ultimately really hard to imagine a path that isn't filled with the narrative and goalposts we used to have. For them, Buddhism isn't about getting new, better goalposts (which is 100% true.. the eightfold path becomes the goalposts), but rather Buddhism is something they fit into their existing goalposts. And since everyone has different goalposts, snowflake like (they are similar, but different when looking up close), there isn't a surefire way to approach dismantling of goalposts. There are some regularities. Like dismantling the goalpost of chasing money. Or the goalpost of chasing pleasure.  But romance is highly varied. And self-worth comes in 1000s of flavors. And some might even chase justice unskillfully. Or chase Goodwill and generosity poorly.

This isn't to look down on any specific person. I was stuck there for a long time. I was stuck where I thought I could fit Buddhism into my general do-goodery and save-the-world grandiosity.  After all, Buddhism was good, and doing good is good, therefore, by my feeble-at-the-time logic that meant Buddhism and my do-goodery we're the same! I was so lost, I couldn't see my mixed up goalposts at part of the problem. I clung to the goalposts because they seemed like the solution.

Recently, the snowflakiness (pun intended) has manifested in people sharing their origin story or some essential narrative and saying, in essence: "I want to learn Buddhism, but first I have to tell you about these idiots I just roasted". And then a wall of text, 5 pages long, painting others in a light so that their own first player glory can be depicted. Tiresome

Was I ever this tiresome? Yes! I still am sometimes.

But I am noticing, and not falling into the hole I just dug. 

When I do lapse, I mostly catch myself and laugh, remembering some key lessons.

* Gil Fronsdal telling me his one word wisdom: "ridiculous".

* My own mantra+koan: Rope and Wind

* 3 last breaths

* The simile of the saw

* 100 years, all new people

* Nothing is enough

* What is this (?)

nothing is enough - poem

There is a dharma talk by Gil Fronsdal that made a big influence on me. A man from Santa Cruz died and left a poem called Nothing Is Enough.

Here is the dharma talk. https://www.audiodharma.org/talks/audio_player/8865.html

Nothing is Enough

Or everything is not enough.

I have a hunger...

The hunger is me.

If I feed it, it wants more.

Mostly, it wants something else.

A wise person, said STOP.

...

Poem by Frank... Last name unknown

Mindfulness contemplation, topics

 These are my notes from the greater discourse on mindfulness. It gives many topics that one can contemplate and remember to investigate.

I went a long time just trying to do concentration practice. Well worth it, but it got stale. Currently, I am looking more at greed, anger, and delusion. Is it there? Is it not? And also the 7 factors for awakening. The earth, air, water, fire investigation is also useful.

Mn 10

Maha mindfulness topics

Gil fronsdal talks on these topics https://www.audiodharma.org/series/1/talk/1742/

 sutta 30 of Wings of Awakening

"Wings to Awakening: An Anthology from the Pali Canon" https://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/thanissaro/wings/index.html which provides context.

Or here just for the sutta itself.

"Satipatthana Sutta: Frames of Reference" https://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/mn/mn.010.than.html

Mindfulness of body

Around the mouth, body. In and of itself. Without greed and distress for the outside world

Also, origination and passing away, in line with causes and consequences

Without regard to likes and dislikes in the outside world

In long, out long. Or in short, out short.

Sensitive to body fabrication

Calming body fabrication

Walking, standing, sitting, lying down

Activities of the body. Fully alert.

Going forward, returning. Be alert. Looking toward or away. Bending and extending. Carrying cloak, robe, bowl. Eat drink, chew, savor. Urinate, defecate. Talking and silent. All alert

Sorting grain. Sorting and analyzing.

Parts of the body.

Earth property. Liquid. Fire. Wind/air.

Contemplate corpses. And my body will do this too.

Mindfulness of feelings

Pleasant, unpleasant, neutral

Same, but in the flesh or not in the flesh

There are feelings… as knowledge and recollection, but not entangling.

Mindfulness of mental fabrications/mind

Passion/ Greed and non greed

Aversion and non aversion

Delusion and non-dillusion

Constricted, scattered, enlarged, not enlarged, surpassed, not surpassed, concentrated, not concentrated, released, not released

Mindfulness of mental qualities

5 hindrances, present or not present. Wheel.

5 clinging aggregates

7 factors for awakening, present and not present

6 sense realms/objects

Four noble truths

Understand and identify suffering

Cause of suffering is to be abandoned

The cessation is to be achieved

The path is to be developed.

SHORTY+SHOUTOUT: Enlivening is not inner thriving.

"Enlivening is not inner thriving. If you don't have enough inner thriving and depend too much on enlivening, then it's a shallow world."

A commentary of trolls on the internet, but also the practice in general of praising your own views and denigrating others. For them, it is enlivening and can make them feel powerful. But it's not very fulfilling.

I would extend the "enlivening" label to the clinging to sensual pleasures.

https://www.audiodharma.org/talks/audio_player/10715.html

-Gil Fronsdal