A relationship acronym: APTPB - Apartment Peanut Butter

 I used this, perhaps not consistently enough, as a relating framework when things get rough.

1. "All of me, All of you". We show up with complete selves. We don't hide. (Ok to pause to find good timing, but not okay to hide)

2. "Put yourself first." I often translate this to "neither of us owes each other to the extent to put ourselves second." Each of us owns our self, self-care.

3. "Team". When things get confrontational, remember that you want to be on the same team.

4. "Practice". Embrace mistakes and struggles as practice, to do good relating processes.

5. "Bullets". Use the right bullets for your issue. Logical problems can be approached with logical bullets. Emotional problems with emotional problems.  If you try to use logical bullets for an emotional problem, don't be surprised if it is ineffective or makes it worse! And vice-versa.

Shorthand is Apartment Peanut Butter, or APT PB.