Take the STEP

STEP is an acronym I use to review my orientation to the outside world. It is a diagnostic; go through the 4 item checklist and see if anyhting needs changing.

S is for SHARE. This is not just sharing physical things, but sharing your ups and downs and sharing time.  The opposite is to HIDE.

T is for TOLERATE. Be able to tolerate anything if it is needed to achieve a goal or task you want to. Sometimes, practice tolerating just to practice. The opposite is to be PICKY.

E is for EMBRACE. Go beyond just tolerating and embrace things that are difficult.  For a difficulty that doesn't have to do with people (like the weather or bugs), embracing means finding ways to enjoy it or find meaning in tolerating it. For people, it means embracing the hopes and dreams of others, wishing well to them, wishing success and good luck and metta to them.  The opposite is to DISTANCE, including just putting up with things.

P is for PAUSE. It means that we don't jump to our first conclusion. We can look at multiple sides. We can control our urges. The opposite is to be URGES, crazy cravings, we have to have it.

There may be times where you need different combinations of the STEPs, and that you sometimes might need to ignore one part. (Example: sometimes quick action is needed so we cannot pause. Sometimes we have to be more careful and we cannot share or we limit who we share with.)

But STEP gives you important options to consider.  Could I pause here? If i do, is it beneficial? Could I embrace instead of distance? Is it beneficial? Can I tolerate it instead of demanding things change for my comfort? Is it beneficial? Can I share more instead of just doing everything solo? Is it beneficial?

Doing the default because you have always done it that way... It is familiar, easy. But is it beneficial?