strength and pain

I think I always thought that strength would prevent pain from happening. Puffing up my chest, flexing my muscles, surveying my friends/allies... I felt protected.

But now I know that strength doesn't really prevent pain, especially the wounds we inflict on ourselves. Strength can fool me into believing that fable: I'm invincible! But that's just a story, that I want to believe.

What is true? The fake strength actually impedes me. The real strength is to see pain, to feel it, to experience it. 

Wisdom allows me to avoid some pain and entanglements. But the bigger strength is to be able to hold the pains I can't avoid, or the lingering traumas my "stinking thinking" repeats.

Strength let's me go through and with the pain. That's real strength in this uncertain, unsatisfactory world.

Courage

My commitment to the world is to be able to walk anywhere in the world without my heart closing. How do I do that?

Ruth King, 2021. Black and buddhist summit.

Notes to Rahula: The path of mistakes. Be observant, don't lie, and notice what is skillful vs not skillful.

 In MN61, Instructions to Rahula, the Buddha instructs his own son. Siddharta Gautama left the palace shortly after the birth of his son to pursue the medicant/monk life. His son chose, many years later, to join the monkhood.

I get the impression that Rahula was a dedicated but kinda lax monk towards the beginning. In this sutta, we get the strong impression that Rahula lied about something. The Buddha chastised Rahula, pointing out that someone who lacks honesty has very little goodness in them. They can't be trusted by others. But they also can't be trusted by themselves.

But the main reason I want to share the Rahula Sutta is relating it to the path of mistakes. Buddhism isn't about getting it right on the first try through sheer force of will. We all have lots of accumulated habits and tendencies. I have found, in my own practice, that trying to impatiently bypass my bad habits doesn't work. They are repressed for a bit, but they just come back stronger when I am in a weak spot, with low ability to fight off old habits (sex, food, praise, money, comfort). Buddhism isn't about how we act when we get everything we want; it's a lot about how we act when things don't go our way.