I noticed that the teachers I respect the most do not "feed" on their students. They aren't offended if their students disagree or gladdened when their students agree. For the benefits of the student following the path is for the student's sake.
Hence, one of the most virtuous actions for a teacher is to already be well fed. Or, better yet, not needing to feed anymore (which could be because of being well fed or losing one's appetite). It fits nicely into the notion of "nothing is enough", the namesake of this blog.
This is a personally important matter because I'm starting down the path of a Buddhist Programmer. Today I am going to start to mockup an app for Metta practice. And later, one on seeing and working with feelings. Another for a few guided breath games.
And, insofar as I am in a role of teacher, I have to be very aware of whether I am feeding on the students. It is fine to want to help others, but feeding is dangerous. I might get angry when others disagree with my methods. I might be sad or dejected if people don't download my app. I might get happy if I become a success. All of these are ways that I can "feed" on my users and students. So, this is where I can pause and look at my intentions. There are good and bad intentions in there. I want to help, that is okay. But I want to be recognized for that help. I also want to be the best so that I can feel the rush of being the best. That's very different from wanting to be the best so that I can help others.
Also, the teacher should be an earnest coach and cheerleader, but not get too invested in the success of the student. If I'm too invested, then I'll get happy or sad based on their success. As the equanimity chant tell me/us, people awaken and progress based on their actions, and not my wishes for them. May I still have good wishes for them, but not believe that I can take the medicine or exercise the muscles for them. Each person inherits their own mind.
Another aspect of teaching (and life) is to focus on the inputs that I can control and not the outcome I cannot control. That is, I can really think and care about the craft of my teaching and the skills involved. I can use the outcomes as feedback to improve the methods of teaching. Those are the inputs I control. But, the output of if a student follows through... that's not under my control. I can encourage and entice, but not with my ego in mind, only with their benefit in mind. Even the Buddha said that there are those that lack the taste for and motivation to follow the path. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink.
I've softened this "inputs, not outputs" stance quite a lot. I noticed that it had a lot of aversion. Like, "If the student fails, it's the student's fault." It washed my hands and was wishful thinking. The causes of progress are many variegated, and sometimes the fault will be in my teaching and sometimes in others temperament that they bring in. So, the aversion was an indifference I developed toward them when they didn't do well. Nowadays, I try to have goodwill throughout. And I embrace a lot of "I don't know" when they seem to be off the path. But, ultimately, I can only do so much to entice and encourage. There is a middle way with viewing "inputs, not outputs".
Finally, I've gotten to see first hand my own feeding on "students". I don't have proper students and I always tell them not to listen to me like a teacher. I am a peer, they should judge my words. Nevertheless, a few people have looked to me for guidance in the dharma. In my more successful cases, I started out explicitly saying, "don't feed on me. And I don't want to feed on you. You can feed on the words and how they are useful." That guarded them from losing their agency, but it also guarded me from getting a god complex or caring too much. When they did it their way, I just watched carefully, looked for them veering off, and kept wise/right speech in mind. With another, I'm not sure. They ask a lot of questions and might be too "intellectualizing" the buddhism, as is their way since they have an advanced education. I'm able to keep some distance, although I lose myself sometimes. With a third person, it's a mess, because there is past history and also the mixing of friendship and teacher. In that, I often see myself not knowing what wise speech is. And, I also have a feeding of wanting to help more. So, in those cases, I know I've bled into wrong speech. Unfortunately, not clearly wrong speech. More like, "almost right speech", which I'm laughing about because I mean it like "almost pregnant".... the almost phrase makes a big difference.
In any case, I'm developing shame for my actions but not beating my"self" up over it all.
Just be careful for those who broadcast they are teachers, including best-selling authors. They are the 21st century equivalents of snake-oil peddlers. They want you to buy. They want to feed on you.
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